Oscar Fashion Wrap-up

So I decided that I'd like to start talking about fashion...a little...sometimes. I really really love clothes and grand fashion statements and especially awards season gowns.

 My favorites from last night were, in no particular order:

I have a soft spot for Natalie Portman, because I once saw her at a book signing in Brookline, MA, when I was living in Boston. Jonathan Safran Foer was there to read from and sign copies of Everything is Illuminated and Ms. Portman was there, man. She was freaking there. This was back when she was attending Harvard, and I hadn't seen her in anything, but I loved her right from that moment. The book, on the other hand, not so much...anyway, I have a feeling that I'd like the color of this dress way more in person. Not that I don't like it here, in pictures, but people reported it being more fuschia than eggplant. That pleases me. She just looks so happy and rosy and I love the tassel-earring craze of the moment. The matchy-matchy shoes were slightly disappointing, but I'm not hating.

Ditto for Mila Kunis, because, dude, she's Meg Griffin. She also looked like a HOLLYWOOD LEGEND in this dress, which may have been cinched a little too tightly around her waist, which is so tiny to begin with, why must you push it? I loved the cut of the top. Her decolletage is parfait. Actually this whole thing has an edible quality to it. NOM.

The second Amy Adams appeared on the screen, I was, like, "GASP. CHOKE. GORGE. US." This is both sparkly and colorful, two of my favorite things. I do kind of wish that the cut was just slightly less demure, as we've already established that I am a fan of Amy's chest. Plus it would have set off that unbelievable necklace. Boobs + necklace = YOWZA.

For some reason, I just can't get on the Anne Hathaway bandwagon, but I thought this Valentino was glorious. The material looks a little cheap in this picture, but on the red carpet she was every bit a superstar. If only her hair was super, too.

You'll notice that I did not include any nude, white, taupe, beige, or pink dresses, because I hate them all. Well, maybe not all of them, but all the ones I saw last night. Can that trend be over now?

Build-a-Boyfriend

Have you seen this State Farm commercial? The basic premise is there's a couple who get into a car accident and the magic State Farm jingle brings them their insurance representative, then turns them both into the others' physical ideal. It's cute, in a superficial way...I guess.

It's fun, sometimes, to dream about a make-your-own boyfriend. Like, he has the charm and smile of Gyllenhaal, the casual brilliance of DeGrasse Tyson, the truthiness of Colbert, the ab-fabulousness of Bale...I could go on all day cutting and pasting qualities from all my favorite guys onto the blank slate Dream Guy. But, of course, the fantasy doesn't go very far. Or, more specifically, I always start identifying those qualities I love in the person that I love:

Well, he's just as cute as Jake and he knows a hell of a lot more about sciencey things than I do. And now that I think about it, he's the one who owns I Am America (And So Can You). OK OK, so he's not Christian Bale, but whaddya gonna do?

So, yeah, fantasies are nice sometimes but reality is better. I want to write an alternate ending to that State Farm commercial where the couple poofs back into the people they used to be, and then  they realize that their fantasies can't hold up to the real people that they're in love with. Because isn't that even nicer?