Tuesday, July 26, 2011

What do YOU want?

Being single again after so many years leaves you at a bit of a loss. You look around and think, "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" The safety net is suddenly gone. There's no one to talk to. I really and truly spent the first night after he moved out watching Antiques Roadshow and drinking a Four Loko. My first ever. Fruit punch flavor. It's actually kind of delicious in a 'I can feel this killing me from the inside out,' kind of way (just what I needed.) And hooo lordy all you need is one. 

It's disorienting and sad, but it's as good a time as any to step back and think about what you really want out of life. A girl can fantasize a bit, right? What do I want?

It seems simple when viewed from above:

a little house with a little garden on a lot of land. Flowers and trees. Some animals, some vegetables, a kid or two. Cooking, reading, running around. Playing outside. Playing inside. An annual trip to Cape Cod or Maine or Montreal. Or some friend's somewhere. Drive-ins and farmer's markets and museums. 
Long drives and music and love. 

That seems simple, right? I think so. It makes me want to cry. *wipes away tear* That's more than just the Four Loko talking.

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