I need new jeans. The problem is that I've been wearing little girls' jeans for most of my adult life. More specifically, jeans from the popular tween money sink, Delia's. But those days are coming to an end, I fear, thanks to my advancing age (are 27 year-olds even allowed to wear clothes from Delia's? No? I didn't think so) and, lately, my expanding rear end. I've always been curvy but for some reason (sigh...probably that advancing age, again) just this year my hips have decided that things aren't working out between them, and they need some time far, far apart.
My denim demands are pretty basic.
What I'm looking for:
- A very dark wash with
- A straight leg and
- A mid-hitting waistline.
- Jeans that look like they were applied using an airbrush machine.
- Anything that will indicate to passersby that I've recently emerged from Tom Cruise's underground breeding bunker. So, no, "boyfriend," jeans.
- A very high or very low waist. I love high-waisted pencil skirts but the high waist on jeans tends to give the crotch a diaper-like quality I'd rather avoid. And I need all my business to be contained, so none of those low cuts the kids are wearing. (and, PSSSSST! Young lady, I can see your business.)
- Acid washes, intentional distressing, patches, embroidery, Bedazzlement, or any other adornments that will make me look like I've escaped from a home. In other words, nothing Ed Hardy touched.
Anyone have any other suggestions?