Monday, March 22, 2010

From Zero to Bitch in Under 5 Seconds

At any given time, I am, "working," on a random personal issue. Sometimes it's exclusively personal (like my ill-fated attempt to clean up my gd sailor mouth) but more often it's something that affects others in my life, usually the boyfriend. These days I am trying to adjust my reactions. I can seriously go from zero to bitch in the blink of an eye and it's enough to drive anyone nuts. When this happens I can practically see the terror flash in my boyfriend's eyes and if facial expressions could talk, his would say, "Holy SHIT! Where'd you come from? ESCAPE! ESCAPE!" Every once in a while it's justified. Certainly not often, but once in a while.

Even during those times when it is justified, it's still probably not the best idea to go full-tilt into a fit of bitchiness. First of all, I'll tell you right now that no straight man knows how to deal with a woman who has whipped herself into a bitch-fit. They immediately get defensive and will only rise to your level of frustration. That's not a productive way to deal with a disagreement.

Instead, as self-explanatory as it may be, take a deep breath. Count to five. Recognize the line between upset and whirling dervish and don't cross it. Speak calmly and quietly and don't jump to conclusions. Now, I'm not saying I've mastered this concept. Quite the opposite. Just this morning I went off all half-cocked, but I've pledged to work on it. Like I said...Girlfriend-in-progress.

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