Monday, March 22, 2010

I (Still) Love You

We are big on the, "I love you,"s around our house. Or, should I say, I'm big on the, "I love you,"s and my boyfriend is just along for the ride. He, like most men, prefers to emote physically rather than verbally. He opens a door or gives me a peck on the cheek and that, in his mind, is what says he loves me. I'd rather beat it in to the ground with multiple declarations throughout the day and am not ashamed to admit that. I love him at the end of phone conversations (even texts get a requisite, "xoxo,") and as I cook dinner. I love him before bed and in the morning and if I could train a parrot to say, "Squawk! I love you!" I would make him carry it around on his shoulder as a constant reminder of my undying love.

Is that overkill?

Only if one's self-worth hinges on a response. If you're an over-lover, you had better get used to, every once in a while, being left hanging, especially if your SO is a typical guy. My boyfriend once said, "God, I love you, OK? I love you! Enough!" to which I responded by bursting into tears. Neither of us understood the other's position, and that left us both upset. A loooong conversation ensued where I conceded that, sure, I took the I love yous a little too far. He didn't need to be peppered with love all day long, and felt like a response on his part had become obligatory rather than genuine. I pointed out that sometimes I just felt like saying it. It had less to do with reciprocation from him, and more my need to express my feelings. Once we talked it out it made perfect sense from both angles and since then we've been more considerate of one another. Loving in balance, a very important lesson.

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