Friday, April 2, 2010

Scheduling Conflict

My boyfriend and I have almost completely opposite schedules. I work a 9-to-5 and he is in the restaurant industry, so his hours are always unpredictable and usually skewed much later than mine. I knew this when I met him, during the years that we were friends and later when we became romantically involved.

And, yet, it still bugs the crap out of me.

When I'm dragging myself out of bed in the morning, he's peacefully enjoying another few hours of sleep. When I'm dragging myself to bed at night, he's enjoying all the late night TV I love, but can no longer stay up for. It's so unfair. Of course, from his perspective, I'm the one who has it good, working standard hours and being able to live it up with just about everyone else during off-hours. When most of our friends are partying he's stuck at work. Also unfair.

One way we've dealt with the differing schedules is to designate one day out of the week as, "Our Day." It's usually Sunday. We make it a point to spend a whole day just enjoying each other's company, cooking, relaxing and getting reacquainted. It's absolutely essential, in my opinion, to reserve at least a little time for just the two of you, even if it's as simple as a quiet day at home.

Readers, how do you make time for your SO?


  1. So I found your site through On the Edge, and this post is SO true. Boyfriend and I are both in the restaurant business, except I still have a full-time M-F job. Tuesday night is "Date Night" because until recently it was the only time we had together all week. Late night bartending causes the worst of the fights though. Ugh. Thank god for Tuesdays. (Great blog, by the way!)

  2. My boyfriend works in the music industry, so when the band he works for goes on tour in the summer, he's gone pretty much every weekend from May-August. I knew this from the start, but it still bothers me a lot more than I thought it would. During the week he's home, doing whatever he wants, while I work 8-4 M-F. Weekends are my off days, so while he's at work in some random part of the country, I'm home trying to figure out what to do with myself. Since this happens in the summer, it's especially hard because I have all these plans I want to make with him, but I can't because he's not home. We try to have a date night once during the week. This usually works out ok, except when I have a couple too many glasses of wine and have to get up for work in the morning. He's also trying to get me to come with him to a couple of the venues. It's definitely hard, but like you said, I knew how his job was when I got into this, and most weeknights we are together, so it's not as bad as I make it out to be, I suppose. A girl has a right to whine, right?